Monday, September 29, 2008

The Saga Continues....

It all started right before bed last night. I'm diligently working on my beta version of Chunky Monkey, and getting close to where I can start the shaping and the fun stuff! watching Bullit with Dan. Yes, it's a horribly crappy late 60's movie, but ya gotta love the car chase! You haven't seen anything until you've seen that beautiful Mustang in that car chase. Anyway, when I sat down to knit, I asked Dan if he had seen the dog recently because I didn't have to kick her off the couch. (She knows she's not supposed to be up there, but she gets so cold she loves to curl up on the pillows.) Well, we finish watching the movie. I'm feeding the baby, and Dan goes in to find the stupid dog on our bed and had peed on our pillows! So, we had to clean that mess up at 11:30 at night.

Then, at about 5:30 this morning (after I've already been up to feed the baby at 4) Melodie starts screaming and throwing a hissy fit because she wanted to watch TV, and I made her go back to bed. And I mean a FIT! I got so fed up, I took the new Webkinz my aunt and uncle just got her. And of course she woke up the baby, so by the time I fed him, again, and got him back to sleep, again, it was about 10 minutes before I had to get up. After I had my bath and gained some sort of consciousness I, in not so nice terms, informed her if she ever spoke to me the way she did this morning again, I would not only get rid of said Webkinz, but all further Webkinz for her would be banned from the house, and any gotten for her would be promptly gotten rid of, her American Girls would completely leave (I've had them confiscated for about 6 months now because she wasn't taking care of them right), and all Pokemon and Littlest Pet Shop will be banned from the house. I also told her if she keeps up this bath and hair washing crap, that I'll get rid of all of her skirts, and she'll only have jeans to wear. (She has a personal vendetta against jeans. She absolutely cannot stand them. She always wants to wear skirts to school.) Dr. Phil had said before that every kid has their "currency." He hasn't met Melodie! Nothing matters. I have taken every toy from her room, and she still acts this way. The only thing that matters to her is school, and her wonderful principal she had before went to a new district this year, and although the new principal seems very nice, it just doesn't seem like she would work with me as much as the old one did. We had a good plan in place for keeping her behavior in check at home by rewards, etc. at school. That's gone now and all hell has broken loose. I dread thinking about what life is going to be like in 5 years when she is a teenager. I'm just so tired and frustrated.

I wish I could just shipwreck myself on a tropical beach with a gallon of vodka and cranberry juice and sleep for 3 days. Of course, then I'd get sunburned. I can't even win in my dream world!

I just wish I could get through to her. I wish there was something I could do to finally make it click that she's not supposed to act like that. She's so smart. She has an IQ of 134 for cripe's sake! She should be able to figure out how to wash her hair and not jump head first off the furniture. I still think she has to have some form of autism. Maybe it's bipolar or something else like that, I don't know, but there is still and has always been something that just gnaws at the corner of my brain telling me there is something else that has to be going on in that head of hers to make her be like this all the time. I understand kids misbehave. I know kids test boundaries. They're supposed to do that stuff to learn, though. This is much more than that. Just something about her doesn't sit right with me. I think she's got more neurologically / neuropsychologically going on than just an underdeveloped nerve in her lip. If we can ever afford health insurance, maybe we can someday have an absolute answer. Who knows.....

She just gets me so frustrated, but at the same time, I feel so sad for her. I just want her to grow up and live her own happy, safe life. She's got so many dreams and aspirations, I just don't want her to have to give that all up and have to live at home because she can't even take care of her own personal hygiene, let alone be a vet or a teacher! She's also getting to the point in school now where kids start to notice you're differences. She has friends and people generally seem to like her, but the difference between her and the other girls in her class is black and white.....and you can tell the other girls notice it, too. She's just so friendly and outgoing though, she wins everyone over, but I started seeing it last year, certain little ways they look at her when she gets in one of her tangents, that they know she's different. I'm just very glad she's not teacher's pet this year. Her teacher last year was very nice, but she is one of those kids that just gets off on attention. She has to be the center of attention at all times, and she thrives off of it. I'm glad she's being treated just like one of the other kids this year. Hopefully it will help some.....hopefully.

My mom thinks I'm nuts. She thinks there's nothing wrong with the way she acts, and I'm a mean, horrible person because I expect too much from her. I mean, gee, I want her to bathe so kids don't make fun of her for being dirty and smelly and I want her to get a good night's sleep so she doesn't look like a zombie in the morning, and I want her to not nosedive off the furniture so she doesn't break her neck and die....that must make me Adolf freakin' Hitler, right? When I was her age, I had the pressure piled on to get straight A's. That wasn't expecting too much, though. (Sorry, my mom just irked me this morning because I complained. Silly me, I thought I could talk about my problems with my mom and not get dumped upon for it. Thank god I've got wonderful friends who do see how she acts without the rose colored glasses of a grandparent and know that I'm not crazy....thanks guys!!!!)


Phoe said...

That is rough. It isn't wrong to have expectations and boundaries for your kids, either; it's actually pretty healthy, as long as you don't expect too much. and it doesn't sound that way to me- it sounds like you have normal expectations for your daughter. I have no advise or wisdom to offer, just sympathy.

Ria said...

hang in there with your daughter! Hopefully you'll get through eventually.

I'd join you for the vodka and cranberry - but it would make me pee and where on a deserted island would you do that? LOL!

Michelle said...

Thanks for the kind words! It's just so frustrating when you try so hard, and you still don't get anywhere. Of course, this morning they swapped on me.

See, I knew there had to be some catch to the wonderfulness of a deserted island! lol